Jet Fighter Warranty Registration Card o.T.

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13.02.02 12:44

3574 Postings, 7272 Tage zit1Jet Fighter Warranty Registration Card o.T.

13.02.02 12:46
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3574 Postings, 7272 Tage zit1Jet Fighter Warranty Registration Card

McDougal Douglas   --    Aeronautics/Space Systems/Missiles
Jet Fighter Warranty Registration Card

* Important!  Please fill out and mail this card within 10 days of purchase!


--------------------------------------------------

Thank you for purchasing a high-performance McDougal Douglas military jet fighter
aircraft! We hope it will bring you and your organization many positive in-flight
hours and successful operations. In order to protect your investment and qualify
for our toll-free technical support services, please take a few moments now to
fill out this warranty registration card.

The marketing survey questions (5-15) are optional, but any information you provide
will help us to develop new and better products to meet your needs and desires.
We're based in Nevada, so our Customers always come first!

required for warranty:

1. Please tell us about yourself:

   (circle one)  Mr  Mrs  Ms  Dr  Pres  HRH  Imam  Comrade  Other__________

   First Name_____________ MI____ Last Name(s)_____________________________
                                          (use separate sheet if necessary)

   Rank_______________ (Col/Gen/C-in-C/Obergruppenfuhrer/Pres-for-Life/etc)

   Organization/Country Name_______________________________________________

   Street Address_________________________________________ Mailstop________

   City/State/Province/Postal Code_________________________________________

   Position (Lat./Long./Alt.)______________________ Airspeed/Vector________

   Electronic Mail_________________________________

   Phone/Fax_______________________________________

   Password, Code Name, Etc._______________________

   Mother's Maiden Name____________________________

   Social Security Number__________________________

   Swiss Bank PIN__________________________________

   IFF Transponder Code____________________________

2. Which model of McDougal Douglas jet aircraft did you purchase?

    F-14 "Stormkitten"
    F-15 "Beagle"
    F-16 "Falconer"
    F-911Z "Stealth" (w/recon options)
    B-111 "Thunder" (w/weapons options)
    T-411 "Saturn" (w/child safety seat)
    Z-2800 "Camaro" (w/hemi carbs)
    Prototype
    Demonstration Model/Not for Resale

3. Date of purchase:  (YYYY/MM/DD) __________/_____/_____

4. Aircraft ID Number (S/N)__________-___________-_________/_______/___


survey questions:

5. Please indicate where this aircraft was purchased:

    Received as Gift
    Foreign Aid Package
    Catalog Showroom
    International Arms Broker
    Mercenary/Consultant
    Mail Order
    Discount Store
    Arms Smugglers
    Government Surplus
    Classified/Other
    EBay Auction

6. Please tell us how you became aware of the McDougal Douglas
  jet aircraft you've purchased:

    Heard loud noise, looked up
    Store Display
    Air Show
    Smuggled Microfilm
    Espionage/Encrypted Mail
    Friend/Relative/Ally
    Arms Trade Show
    Manufacturer Lobbying
    Theft of Top Secret Documents
    Attacked by one

7. Please check the three (3) factors which most influenced your
  decision to purchase this McDougal Douglas product:

    Size of Kickback/Bribe
    Safety
    Advanced Weapons Systems
    Styling/Appearance
    Ease of Maintenance
    Salesperson's Recommendation
    Speed/Maneuverability
    Comfort/Convenience
    McDougal Douglas' Reputation
    Upgradability
    Fuel Efficiency
    Upholstery
    Bang for Buck
    Boardroom Politics
    Negative experience opposing one in combat

8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:

    US/Canada/Mexico
    Central/South America
    Carribbean
    Polar (arctic)
    Polar (antarctic)
    Mesosphere (research)
    Ionosphere (military)
    Aircraft Carrier (Pacific)
    Aircraft Carrier (North Sea/Atlantic)
    Aircraft Carrier (Mediterranean)
    Aircraft Carrier (Gulf/Indian Ocean)
    Europe/NATO
    Russia/Siberia
    Moscow/Grozny metropolitan area
    Former Soviet Republic
    Former Eastern Bloc Countries
    Bosnia/Balkans
    Middle East/Israel
    Italian Peninsula/Sicily/Cyprus
    African Continent
    China/Tibet
    ASEAN Nations
    South Pacific
    Misc. Third-World Countries
    War Games
    Military Exercises (China/Taiwan/North Korea)
    Air Show
    Village Insurrections
    Classified/Other
    Commercial Airline Attacks

9. Please tell us about some of the products you currently own,
  or intend to acquire/purchase in the near future:
  (check all that apply)
                                   own      intend to purchase
   
   Color TV                                      
   VCR                                            
   Cellular Telephone                            
   ICBM                                          
   Satellite-Killer                              
   PDA                                            
   CD Player                                      
   Personal Computer                              
   PC (portable)                                  
   Air-to-Air Missiles                            
   Missle Defense System                          
   Anti-Aircraft                                  
   Home Alarm System                              
   Space Shuttle/Platform                        
   Cryptographic System                          
   Smoke Alarm                                    
   HDTV                                          
   HERF (weapon)                                  
   Workstation                                    
   Fanatical Engineers                            
   Explosives/Ammunition                          
   Supercomputer                                  
   Nuclear Weapon (portable)                      
   Tobacco Plantations                            
   Cocaine Plantations                            
   Evil Mathematicians                            
   Rail Guns                                      
   Orbital Delivery Platform                      
   Microwave (oven)                              
   Microwave (weapon)                            
   Convertible '57 Ford T-Bird                    
   LaserDisc                                      
   Controlled Substance                          
   Exercise Equipment                            
   Webserver                                      
   Corrupt Politician                            

10. How would you describe yourself or your organization?
   (please check all that apply)

    National Military
    Neutral
    Junta
    Oligarchy
    Still Neutral
    Kingdom
    Revolutionary/Liberation Organization
    Private/Citizen Militia
    Multinational Corporation
    Military Intelligence (US)
    Military Intelligence (Other)
    Communist/Socialist
    Terrorist (state-sponsored)
    Terrorist (anarchist)
    Counterterrorist/Law Enforcement
    Hobbyist
    Freedom Fighter
    Fanatic (Islamic Jihad)
    Fanatic (Church of LDS)
    Fanatic (Scientologist)
    Fanatic (Right-to-Life)
    Fanatic (Confederate Air Force)
    Fanatic (Other)
    Neighborhood Watch
    Environmental/Eco-terrorist
    Democratic
    Former Intelligence Agency
    Non-Profit Arts Organization
    Mercenary/Smuggling
    Dictatorship (Latin American)
    Dictatorship (African)
    Dictatorship (Other)
    Criminal Network (Cosa Nostra)
    Criminal Network (Russian)
    Criminal Network (Asian Triad)
    Tribal
    Cult (religious)
    Cult (Burning Man)
    Cult (personality)
    United Farmworkers
    Nudist
    Management of Information Services

11. What is the estimated approximate annual income/take/budget
   of your family/organization/government? (FY99, in US$M)

    under $0.5
    $0.5-$1
    $1-$30
    $30-$75
    $75-$200
    $200-$500
    $500-$1,000
    More than $1,000
    Classified/Black Budget
    Billion Here/Billion There

12. How did you pay for your McDougal Douglas product?

    Unmarked Cash
    Bearer Bonds
    Credit Card
    SmartCard
    Anonymous Ecash
    Personal Check
    Traveler's Cheques
    Oil Revenues
    Deficit Spending Legislation
    Suitcases of Cocaine
    Assassination
    Precious Metals
    Stock Swap/IPO
    Alaskan Oil Drilling Rights
    Kruggerands
    Gemstones
    Natural Resources
    Rare Cultural Artifacts
    Hostage Release
    Rigged Florida Election

13. Please indicate any options package for your aircraft
   about which you would like more information:
   (check all that apply)

    Maintenance Agreement #1 (annual)
    Maintenance Agreement #2 (coup-/election-based)
    Extended Fuel Manager (requires Fuel Support Package)
       One-Year Limited Fuel Support Package (ground-based)
       One-Year Unlimited Fuel Support Package (airborne)
    ATAK Battle Armour
    Anti-Missle Laser Weapons (min. purchase of 10 req'd)
    Ammunition Package (only in lots of 10,000)
    Advanced Laser-Guided Munitions, Quake edition
    VR Navigator Unit w/HUD System V (Livermore-Pixar Release 1.0)
    CD-ROM (32X audio/data, internal only)
    CD-ROM Jukebox (holds 1000 audio or 3D terrain navigation discs)
    Alpine® stereo sound system (MP3/CD/Tape/MiniDisc/AM/FM)
    Turbo-7 Speed Bump (2,000+ MPH)
    Ionospheric Auxiliary Oxygen Package
    Microsoft Systems Management Servo package (incl. "Win-MT" Fuel System)
    Dashboard Lighter
    2-Person Bench Seat w/Ejectulator® emergency system
    Neuman-Marcus® "BlackBox" Designer Leather Cockpit Interior

14. How would you best describe your, or your spouse(s)
   and/or mistress(es), occupation?
   (please select only one)
                                   you           spouse(s)         mistress(es)

   Homemaker                                                    
   Exotic Dancer                                                
   Sales/Marketing                                              
   Revolutionary                                                
   Computer Consultant                                          
   Clerical                                                      
   Hollywood Agent                                              
   Generalissimo                                                
   Engineering Management                                        
   Mercenary                                                    
   Criminal Mastermind                                          
   Tyrant/Dictator                                              
   Middle Management                                            
   Secret Agent                                                  
   Medical                                                      
   Eccentric Billionaire                                        
   Defense Minister                                              
   Retired                                                      
   "Retired"                                                    
   Student                                                      
   Research & Development                                        
   Publishing                                                    
   Model/Actress                                                

15. To help us better understand our Customers' lifestyles, please
   indicate the interests and activities in which you and/or your
   spouse(s)/mistress(es) enjoy participating on a regular basis:
   (please check all that apply)
                                   you           spouse(s)         mistress(es)
   
   Golf                                                          
   Holy Wars/Jihad                                              
   Collecting Shoes                                              
   Tourism                                                      
   Sailing                                                      
   Sabotage                                                      
   Music                                                        
   Modern Dance                                                  
   Tennis                                                        
   Programming                                                  
   Marksmanship                                                  
   Politics                                                      
   Robotics                                                      
   Running/Jogging                                              
   Weightlifting                                                
   Propaganda/Disinformation                                    
   Auto Racing                                                  
   Destabilizing Governments                                    
   Group Sex                                                    
   Assassination                                                
   Gardening                                                    
   Cryptography/Cryptanalysis                                    
   Arts & Crafts                                                
   Explosives                                                    
   Smuggling/Black Markets                                      
   Extropism                                                    
   Viewing TV Sports                                            
   Phone Phreaking                                              
   Lingerie                                                      
   Skiing/Snowboarding                                          
   Wines                                                        
   Homebrewed Beer                                              
   Web-cams                                                      
   Interrogation/Torture                                        
   SCA                                                          
   Woodworking                                                  
   Religious Meetings                                            
   Locksmithing                                                  
   Snuggling                                                    
   Recreational Drugs                                            
   Pets                                                          
   Nude Modelling                                                
   Dumpster-diving                                              
   Crushing Rebellions                                          
   Transvestitism                                                
   Espionage/Reconnaissance                                      
   Fashion/Clothing                                              
   Human Rights Violations                                      
   Electronics                                                  
   Border Disputes                                              
   Bondage/Discipline                                            
   Hacking Computer Systems                                      
   Sado-masochism                                                
   Romance Novels                                                
   Cooking                                                      
   Photography                                                  
   Tattooing                                                    
   Mutually Assured Destruction                                  

--------------------------------------------------
Thanks for taking the time to fill out this survey!
A marketing assassin will be visiting you at dinnertime within five (5)
business days.

Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDougal Douglas
serve you better in the future. You'll also be able to receive gifts,
special mailings and other useful offers from various companies, governments,
religious organizations, law enforcement and intelligence agencies, militia,
fundamentalist groups and consortia.

Do you have comments or suggestions about our jet aircraft or the options
package you received with it? Interested in our upcoming line of portable
high-energy laser or space-based beamed anti-missle weapons systems?
Please write to us at:

McDougal Douglas Corp.
Military AeroSpace Division
Marketing Department
P.O. Box 666
Pandora  NV  50505-0666

Toll-free customer support: 1-800-FLY-NUKE

 

13.02.02 12:54

176817 Postings, 6931 Tage Grinch1x witzig für Zit!!! ;-)) o.T.

13.02.02 16:19

3574 Postings, 7272 Tage zit1Welches Modell ist Euer Favorit?

Ich habe mich jetzt endgültig für den F-911Z "Stealth" entschieden, obwohl es den nur ohne Aschenbecher und Getränkedosenhalter gibt. Dafür ist das mattschwarze finish äußerst trendy, die Nachbarn werden blaß vor Neid...  

   Antwort einfügen - nach oben